Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
