White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
