Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize