You really coming over, don't trick.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Can I color on your dick again?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
