Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
