u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
