Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
