My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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