we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
