I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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