butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize