that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Randomize