loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
