Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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