What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
birth control should be required to get into college
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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