I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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