I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
So much Jack, so little girl.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
