I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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