Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
