Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
