and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
