A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
