Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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