Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
