I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
