I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
