How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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