Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
