I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
