I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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