I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
