mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
