Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
areolas are like halos for boobs.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize