i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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