So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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