my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
