the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I stole a fireplace last night.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
