i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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