ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
