just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
