Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
