you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
