if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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