people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize