tell your sister to shave her snatch
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
