I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
