On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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