she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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