I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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