In the future we'll all be gay
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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