Can i not drive my cunt home
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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