I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Randomize
