I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
