I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
