looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
