We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
