I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize