Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
