I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
