have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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