i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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