i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I have aggressive nipples.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
