she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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