I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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