Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
