Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize