Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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