went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Randomize
