A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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