Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
