dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
